Menopause - It's all in the Preperation

Flat long shadow uterus icon

The time has come, I’m getting my menopause prep ON!

I’m keen to get my uterus and hormones into the best physical shape ready for my peri-menopause, and today that prep looked like a uterus massage (it’s official title is Mizan Massage).

Mizan (pronounced like Milan) is an Arabic word that means balance. Mizan Therapy uses traditional reproductive healing techniques to restore balance when life feels unbalanced – physically, emotionally or spiritually.

It’s pretty fair to say that I was a bit apprehensive, and was hugely relieved when I found out that it was an external massage and that I would not need to brace myself for a fisting.

I’m #blessed to have a friend - Gemma aka The Well Woman Project - who specialises in all things well woman, and is well practiced in the area of periods, wombs, menopause and hormones, so when my curiosity grew around this topic, of course I tapped her up and let her go to town on my dough belly.

Her findings; It seems I have a wonky womb (which sits nicely along side my wonky teeth and wonky eyes), I dress to the left if you’re interested. TBF I’m not surprised it’s a bit to cock, that incredible piece of my anatomy has created 6 pregnancies and birthed 4 children, it’s no fucking wonder it’s a bit on the wonk! She also corrected my wonky pelvis, I’m a whole myriads of wonks as it turns out?!

This process begun with me laying on her heated massage bed (bliss) and handing myself over to the unknown. The unknown fast became the well known, a normal massage just on an area of the body that gets very little attention outside of pregnancy and periods.

It felt quiet comforting, soothing, nurturing but mostly connective. An area of my body I used and abused when I was ready to procreate, and one that I showed little respect for it any other time, in fact most of my feelings around this area of my body was resentment outside of the baby making years (bastard periods), but now, it was getting full on attention and a little helping hand (literally) to get it back into it’s rightful place.

There are zillions of benefits to this type of massage;

  • Digestive and emotional

  • Fertility Support

  • Post hysterectomy/Caesarean/Abdominal Surgery

  • During Pregnancy

“A womb in any of these problems is tilted or prolapsed. Modern medicine has little or nothing to offer women with this problem. Options to symptoms caused by a tilted uterus include using the birth control pill, muscle relaxants or surgery and women are generally told such things as, “Your uterus is tilted but that is normal, don’t worry about it”. Yet women have a list of physical and emotional symptoms than can be addressed and prevented with these simple and enjoyable techniques.” - Well Woman Project

I’m simply hoping that my 3 weekly periods that are so heavy I can only sit on wipeable surfaces for a week a month lighten up, and that my hormone induced headaches and nausea fuck right off.

As a woman, who is hurtling towards the menopause, possibly already peri-menopausal, I feel it’s my responsibility to make the transition as easy on me and my body as possible even if it means getting involved in massages I can’t pronounce, neck herbs for the greater good (Gemma has created some supporting herb tea and a tincture) or even make like Gywenth Paltrow and Chrissy Teigen and treat my lady area to a Vaginal Steam, I mean, who the hell are you if you don’t steam your love tunnel?

“In my search for the cure, I discovered an ancient herbal treatment for the uterus that yielded exactly the answer I was looking for. The treatment, known as vaginal steaming, is as old as the hills and is well-respected by traditional healers across the globe, remedying almost any aspect of uterine pathology. Also known as yoni steaming (yoni is the Sanskrit word for womb or vagina), the treatment is used to cleanse and revitalize the uterus, effectively reducing discomfort associated with menstruation.” - MBG Lifestyle

I will now be gleefully viewing my next period like a science experiment, in this experiment, I’m the lab rat and I’m fascinated to find out what difference it’s made.

How are you preparing for the menopause? Are you up for a vag steam or a non fisting massage?