What happened to you is NOT you.



I’ve just watched the speech she gave at the Gold Globes and, I cried, obvs! She talked about speaking our truths, and that that is the strongest part of who we are;

Speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have - Oprah Winfrey

And of course it was all in aid of METOO, a campaign that was brought about to highlight the (oh too common) sexual abuse of women, not just in Hollywood but in all areas of society was so glad that she ‘reminded’ us of this really bloody important campaign, a campaign that raised awareness, created hashtags and gave women permission to stand up and share their truths, but I feel it was a campaign that disappeared as fast as it came? When was the last time (barr Oprah) that you thought of it.

It’s so important that we all keep talking about this subject, it’s important for our girls, it’s important for our *boys and most of all, it’s important for us.

*I include boys because I would rather that my adult sons learnt lessons from campaigns like this rather than looking to the way men have behaved in the past.

The only way to fully detach from experiences of your past, to detach the story from you is to share it, to acknowledge it openly, unashamedly and to make a conscious decision that that ‘thing’ that’s been holding you back for so so long, that thing that’s been causing you such pain, that thing that you truly believe has become part of you forever is NOT part of your future.

Of course it’s easier said than done, anything worth doing is,  BUT if you took one action every day that brings you closer to shares and detaching then your strength will grow and your need to release will grow alongside it.

Some actions that will be a great place to start;

Treat yourself to a new notepad, because everything good starts with a new notepad doesn’t it? 


 Allow the story into your mind, allow the attached feelings it brings with it, it will be painful to start, be kind to yourself ALWAYS, and write down minimum one word that you’re feeling about your story in that moment.
 Allow as many or as few words out of your head onto the page (you can burn it after so just go  for it, release it). This is a private process so be brutally honest and don’t judge yourself for any part of it, this story is not yours anymore, the past cannot be re-written but the future can, pick up the pen. 
Affirmations seem like the smallest most irrelevant thing to do when your story is SO big BUT they are small actions with MASSIVE impact for change. Say and write the affirmation ‘my story is not me, what happened to me is not me, I am OK’ or use words that mean the same thing but in your own words, and do it 10 times, like school lines, every day.   If it doesn’t feel real right now, even if you feel ALL the shame and are still entrenched in the stories, then my darling, fake it ‘til you make it! A rule that has seen me through many a situation and one I often still rely on to make change.


For years and years you’ve been believing it all to be a certain way, to make changes we have to convince our brains that it’s safe to change everything it believed to be true, and repetition, and all the patience that you can muster, this process takes TIME, but my darling, it’s so worth it for the freedom that it brings. 

I will be wearing this METOO bracelet in solidarity of all women who have a story and every women who sees it will be reminded that she is not alone, I stand beside you.